Burning For You, Part One

I awoke in bed, light streaming in through the open windows. I looked for Laura, but she wasnt there. I got up, put my pants on and walked into the open room. Everyone had congregated around the dining room table, probabbly eating breakfest.

I sat down at one of the seats and everyone said their 'hellos'.

"What are we doing today?" I asked.

Everyone just mumbled. I looked up and saw Sarah glaring at me. Jared looked up from his cereal, looked at me and then at Sarah. He nudged Sarah and she looked at him. Then back at me.

I got up. "I'm gonan shower." I walked into my room, took of my clothing and then turned on the shower. I got in, and started soaping up. I heard the door open, and then wiped away the fog on the glass. Laura had walked in, and was taking off her clothing. It was the first time I saw her naked since I was with Amanda.

She opened the door and I looked at her. I smiled.

She shut the door and started soaping up. But for some reason, this time, i didn't feel anything. I didn't have the urge to make love to her right there, like before. She started lathering me, but I quickly stopped her.

"No...I'm not in the mood."

She just stared at me.

"What's wrong with you? Ever since you got home last night, it's like...we're not even together. Last night you just pushed me away from you, and now this. What the fuck?" She seemed so saddended, and I wanted to talk, but I didnt. I just stood there, water spraying on us, and looked down.

Not only was I desperatly tryign to come up with an excuse, I was also wondering why 'he' wasn't getting up. It's like all of a sudden, Laura wasn't mine. I quicky tried to think up what happened, what might of changed, and Amanda flashed in my mind. Then 'he' was up.

"You're obviously in the mood." She smirked, with a hint of anger.

I couldn't tell her it wasn't her, but what could I say.

"It's not you." i said.

She just looked at me.

she leaned against the tile and slowly slid down the wall, into a sitting position. She started crying.

"Why the fuck didn't I beleive Sarah..." She said.

"Sarah?"

"I know, all about Amanda. I didn't believe Sarah. Jared told her, and swore her not to tell. But fucking please, what was she to do?"

I looked at her. We both stood and sat there, naked, water still pouring down on us.

I kneeled down. "I'm so, so, sorry. I was tottally drunk and had no idea what was happening." I tried to tell her the truth.

"Fucking bullshit." She cried. She just cried as I put my arms around her. She just cried as I told her how sorry I was. She just cried as I held her there, and moved her on my lap. We just sat there, rocking back and forth, her crying, me trying to apologize.

Then I started to cry. She looked at me, still crying. The tears rolled down my face. "I'm so, fucking sorry" I said.

She looked at me.

"Katherine's pregnant and Keith doesn't know. Are you responsible for that too?" She slapped me and got up. She got a towel and walked out of the bathroom.

I sat on the shower floor, and just fell to my side. The cool tile on the side of my face felt good in comparison to the hot water pouring on me.

~ ~

I walked out of my room, slowly. Keith, Lillie and Luke were in the living room, and everyone else was outside.

I looked at Keith. I looked outside and saw Katherine.

Was it even his?

Breaking Your Mind

I woke up to someone kissing me. I didn't remember what happened the night before, or where I was. The last thing I remembered was being at the market, with Keith and Jared. I opened my eyes, but saw darkness. A line of silver light came through a crack in the blinds.

I was in the house. A felt hands against my chest, and lips kissing down my stomach.

"Hey baby," I said to Laura. "what happened last night?"

I still felt lips against my chest, moving downwards. I felt so tired, and the bed I was in felt so good. I didn't want to move.

"It's still night." Laura said.

But it wasn't Laura's voice. I sat up just as she was about to go farther, and pushed her away. I jolted over to the blinds and swung them over.

"What? What happened?" asked the woman. I turned around. Moonlight streamed in the room, and there, on the bed, lay Amanda.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to show that I was panicked.

"What do you mean?" She laughed. "You don't remember?" I looked down and saw I only had my boxers on, but they weren't being useful right now. I covered myself and just stared at her.

"Did we....fuck?" I asked.

Amanda smiled, and tilted her head back. "It was better than that." She crawled over to me, and put her hands on my chest.
"Get back in bed...please?"

I threw her hands off of me. "No...no. Where are my friends?"

She looked angry. "Probabbly at the bar...what the hell?"

"We weant to a bar?"

"Yeah, probabbly why you don't remember anything." Amanda said.

"I...I have to go." I said to her.

"One kiss good bye? Please?" She was like a siren, beckoning me. I went over to her and kissed her. I then got dressed and quickly ran to the bar of the hotel.

Jared and Keith were there, sitting at two couches.

"Why the fuck didn't you stop me?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You couldn't tell I was piss drunk?"

"What, your angry about Amanda...? You didn't seem unhappy when you wanted to call her." Keith said.

"What's the time?" I asked.

"9:18."

I got them outside, and we called a cab. As we left the hotel, I looked up at the dark windows as one light went on, and Amanda looked through it.

~ ~

In the cab I told them not to speak of what happened.

When we opened the door, the girls were sitting at the couch.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Screamed laura.

"My God, I've never heard a brunette scream that loud." joked Keith.

It didn't work. They were all pissed off, Laura, Katherine and Sarah.

"Calm down! We got lost in the market, and when we stopped to get food, Keith got sick." I said.

Kathering went over to Keith. "Oh baby, are you ok?" She asked.

"Alittle. But I still feel sick." He said.

Katherine wacked him on the head. "Well that's what you get for making me worried!"

Keith rubbed his head as Laura just stared at me. "Unfuckingbelievable." She said. She walked into our room and slammed the door.

Sarah looked at Jared. "Why didn't you anwser your PHONE?" She yelled.

"It had no service!" Jared looked at her. "I swear!"

"I'm going to bed." Katherine said, as she shut the door to her room.

"Sarah, please, I'm sorry." Jared pleaded.

"Fine, just next time fucking TRY to call me." They both walked into their room.

I looked at Keith. "Why are women so complicated?" He asked me.

"Fuck them, let's go outside." Keith said.

We opened the door to the beach, knowing there would be hell to pay later. We walked down the dark beach, with only the light of the moon and light of houses to guide us.

"So, do you feel bad?" Keith asked me.

"I guess. I mean, I really didn't even know what I was doing." I said.

"I've done it before." Keith said.

"To Katherine?" I asked.

"Yeah. She doesn't know. I was at this college party once, and my brother introduced me to his girlfriends sister." Keith smirked.

"Did he know you were going out with Katherine?"

"Yeah, but he's done the same thing before, so to him, it didn't matter. I mean, everyone takes me for a sexpot, so, why not, you know?" He said.

I looked at him. "You really think people look at you like that?"

"Yeah. I mean, everyone knows my past, so I wouldn't expect otherwise." Keith looked at me. "How about you."

"What do I think about you? Your cool. Your not a meat head, but sure. I guess all guys want sex."

"How long have we been good friends?" he asked me.

"About...9 years?" I said.

"Wow. It's been a long time." He said.

Yeah, I thought. A long, long time.

~ ~

Back at the house, Jared and Sarah were still fighting.

There room that held a bed, a couch, two dressers and a closet were the witnesses to the row they had that night.

"You couldn't ahve the desenecy to spare me of the worry? You couldn't find a PAY PHONE?" Sarah glared at Jared.

He sat on the bed, and he knew she was right.

Sarah looked at him. "Oh...My God. Something else happened. Your not telling me." She said.

Jared looked at her. He stood up. "Nothing happened. I swear."

"Tell me," she said. "I know something happened." She pushed him down, and sat on his lap.

"Your not saying something and it's pissing me off." Her nose was touching his.

Jared cracked. He told her. He told her everything. And in that one little moment, Sarah's whole perception of men changed.

"Holy fuck...how could he....holy shit..." Sarah stared blindly at Jared chest. She still sat on his lap, and was more confused then ever.

"Why...why would he do that to Laura? A blond skank over a beautiful brunette...the bastard!" Laura went on.

Jared's heart rate raced. "You can't tell. Please, I'm telling you this with the most trust I've ever relied in some one."

Sarah, for a moment, knew she was going to lie and tell Laura, for her own sake. But when she saw the emptines, the dark yearning and compassion in Jared's eyes, she knew it was just between them selves.

Meanwhile, Laura had gotten up and walked to the hallway. She grabbed my shoes, and put them in the room. And then she heard something. Soft murmmurs coming from Keith and Katherine's room. She heard voices. She felt guilty, but knew she had to since Keith wasn't home. A man was in there, with Katherine, and she could here 'Shhs' and bed sheets...and moans. And then she heard a name. "Mike."

Katherine was with Mike...behind Keiths back.

~ ~

As Keith and I walked back to the house, we looked ahead on the dark beach.

"Think they're still angry?" Keith asked.

"Who knows." I said.

"They're unpredictible." Keith said, not knowing how true it was.

An Innocent Beginning

I woke up in bed.

Soft light entered through the closed curtains, and I looked to my left. Laura was asleep, and her body moved up and down as she breathed. I looked at her.

I got up, put on a wife beater and shorts and walked out of the room.

Luke, Sarah and Jared sit at the counter facing the kitchen, eating breakfest.

"What time is it?" I stumbled to the counter.

Sarah looked at me. "Long night?"

"10:29" Luke said.

Jared ate his cereal. "I couldn't get to sleep at all last night. All I could hear were Katherine and Keith, banging away."

Sarah laughed. "My God are those two noisy."

I leaned on the counter. "What are we doing today?"

"The jacuzzi's working, pool is too, and we have the whole beach to ourselves. We'll think of something." Luke anwsered.

A door opened and Lillie walked out in a silk robe.

"Hey guys."

She walked over to Luke and gave him a kiss.

"Well, nice of you to join us." Luke joked.

"I was tired last night. Really, really tired." Lillie said.

All of a sudden I felt a hand on my back, and I turned to see Laura.

I kissed her. "Mornin'."

"Hey there. Hey everyone." Laura announced.

"So it's only Keith and Katherine not up yet?" asked Lillie.

"And mike." Jared said. He glanced over to me, and we laughed.

"What?" Laura asked.

"Nothin', he brought home two girls last night, and he was drunk." I told her.

"Who invited Mike?" Luke asked.

"I think Polly did, but then she bailed...so we're stuck with him." Jared said.

"Ok, I'm gonna go get dressed, and then...we shall begin our day." Laura announced. She grabbed my hand and we walked back into our room.

~ ~ ~

she shut the door behind us, and pushed me onto the bed.

"I need your advice. Which bathing suit today?"

"Is it that big of a deal?" I asked.

She glared at me. "Of course it is."

She crawled onto the bed with me, and layed to my side. I put my arms around her.

"God forbid you wear the wrong color bikini." I said.

She laughed. "Well, atleast you don't have to worry about that."

She took off my shirt and stared kissing me, and i kissed her back.

"What, last night wasn't enough?" I asked, jokingly.

She smiled. As we kissed, i took off the robe she was wearing, and was greeted to nothing underneath.

i slipped on a rubber.

"your lucky I didn't rip that robe off out there." I laughed.

She snickered. "then, i'd have to kill you."

She took off my shorts, and we began to have sex.

~ ~

After we were finished, she lay there, and looked at me.

She stroked the side of my face.

"do you love me?" she asked, with a hint of remorse.

I felt betrayed. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you love me?" she asked again.

"Of course. but why are you asking me this?" I questioned her.

"I had the feeling something was wrong...never mind." She turned her head.

"Tell me the truth." I sat up, and looked at her.

"No, I was just thinking. i don't know, it was stupid." she kissed me, and got up to put clothing on.

I just stared at her, not knowing how to feel.

~ ~

Later that day, me and Laura joined everyone outside on the beach.

Lounge chairs were situated in a line, Keith and Katherine next each other, than a table, then Luke and Lillie next to each other, then a table, then Jared and Sarah, table and then two empty chairs, for me and Laura.

"Hey, Keith. What up man." I said.

"Hey watup." He said. I sat down on the chair, and Laura sat on the one next to me.

"Ben, we're going to the Market, wanna come?" Keith asked me.

"Who?" I asked.

"Me and Jared. Luke doesn't wanna come. And I don't know where mike is." Keith said.

"Come, it'll be fun." Jared said to me.

"No way. Not with you two." Laura joked.

"Don't worry Laur. You, me and Sarah will find some other guys together." Katherine said.

Jared, Keith and I got up. "Later."

We got a taxi to bring us to the Market, a street taht was mostly outdoor shops, filled with hand-crafted goods.

The street was filled to capacity with young kids, and older teenagers. Most looked 20ish, on vacation.

"Pucca shells!" Keith yelled. He had been obsessed with getting some on our trip, and he had found them.

Me and Jared walked over to a table filled with necklaces.

"How much?" Keith asked the shop-owner, motioning to a necklace.

Jared was looking at some other things on the table.

"Think these are worth shit?" Jared asked me. Keith was still dealing with the owner.

"No idea. They probabbly get their kids to do it." I remarked.

As I walked over to where Jared was, i bumped into someone.

"Sorry." I said. I looked at who I had bumped into.

She was tan, dirty blonde and tall, almost my height, but about an inch smaller. She was well filled-out and looked at me.

"Don't worry about it. You a local?" She aked.

"No, here with friends. How about you?" I asked her.

"I'm on vacation too." She said.

Jared had spotted the girl, and I saw him behind her, eyeing me. It was 'what-are-you-doing-and-who-is-she' kind of look. I could still hear Keith arguing with the shop owner behind me to lower the necklace price.

"So, what's your name?" She asked me.

"I'm Ben."

"Well Ben, nice to meet you. I'm Amanda. Are you at a hotel?" She asked.

I looked at Jared, and then told her. "No, I have a house here with my friends."

"Oh, very nice." she said. "How old are you?"

"I'm 18." I said.

"I'm 21. Hold on." She grabbed a piece of paper from her pocket, got a man to give her a pen and wrote something down.

"Here, it's my number. Hotel and cell." She said, as she handed it to me. "Don't forget to call me." She winked at me. As she walked away, I don't know if she meant to, or if it was on purpose, her hand rubbed up against my crotch.

As soon as she left, Jared walked over to me.

"Does she know you have Laura." He asked.

I looked at him. "No...I didn't say anything." I said.

Keit heard what I said. "Dude, did that girl give you her number?"

"Yeah. Right here."

"Call her!" Keith said. "How old was she?"

"21." I said.

Jared smiled. "Wow. She was fucking hot."

"Are you gonna call her?" Keith asked.

I looked at the paper, and at Jared and Keith.

I knew Laura would be so hurt, but it wasn't like I was cheating on her. It was just a friend.

"One of you, let me borrow your cell." I asked the two.

Jared and Keith looked at eachother and smiled.

Hold Me When It's Dark

I opened my eyes to darkness, and looked out the window. The sun had gone down, and the waves were crashing blindly on the beach. I heard it, but saw nothing. A few candles lit around the house gave an orange hue to the furniture around us, but other than that, the blue sky was all I saw. I looked at Laura, still asleep on my chest. We were still on the couch, and I saw that everyone's door was still shut. I didn't want to move Laura o pur on my shirt, so I just closed my eyes and layed there. I felt movement and looked down at her. She smiled at me.

"Morning." She said.

"Still night, early I think." I looked over at my clock. 9:43.

Laura got up and turned on a light. The light was dim, and Laura went over to the room that no one took.

"I'm gonna take a shower...I'll see you soon." She smiled.

She opened the door, into the dark room, and shut it. Underneath the door, I saw the light go on. Moments later I heard water running. As soon as it started, Jared walked out of his room.

"Hey. You been out here this whole time?" He asked me.

"Yeah, me and Laura were sleeping on the couch." I told him.

He sat next to me. "Sarah's sleeping and I feel bad waking her."

I laughed. "You love her, don't you?" I felt bad putting him on the spot, but I doubt he minded.

"I don't know. It's kinda- yeah. I guess in a way." He sounded unsure.

"I know what you mean."

"No you don't, you and Laura are in love." He laughed.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I wanted to say no, but I wanted to say yes, but I doubted I could decide.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" jared asked.

"I don't know, we'll proabbly go out somewhere. But do you know where Mike is?" I asked.

"He went to his cousins as soon as we got here. douche bag." jared sneered.

No one liked Mike that much, but it was the fact that he sometimes had a cocky attitude.

All of a sudden, the front door burst open, and Mike, drunk out of his mind, stumbled in with two woman on his arm.
He just passed by us, opened a door not locked, and shut it. The smell of alcohol filled the room.

I looked at Jared. he looked at me.

"That's why I'm glad we have girlfriends." Jared joked.

I laughed. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Later man."

I got up and opened my door. I took off my shirt, and then opened the door. The bathroom was fogged up, and the sound of water in the shower filled up the room. I took of my pants, my boxers, and then walked to the foggy glass door. I opened it and stepped in and Laura turned around to me. I wrapped my arms around her while the water sprayed on us.

"I love you."

Arriving Hormones

It took awhile to get there. Along with baggage claim, finding the limo, getting there, we were all too tired to put away what ever we had packed for the trip. The luggage equaled out to almost 5x as many people as there were.

"i have no more money, i tipped the guy my last 12" keith said.

"you're kidding me?" mike looked over at him.

i pushed open the large wooden door of the house. we walked in to a cool, large living room that made up the whole house. the ceiling went to the roof, and the whole downstairs was open, no room except the bedrooms, which were in a different part of the house. the living room, kitchen, dining room and main hall were all one large, intergrated room. we all dropped out luggage in the main hallway and walked over to the couches, which were situated by 4 large glass windows.

we all just sat down, tired as hell from all this bull shit, and finnally got to look out the windows towards the beach and the waves.

"whats for dinner?" jared asked.

"ill call for pizza, and ive got money for it." mike said.

jared started to get up. "i'm gonna go rest, im so fucking tired."

sarah got up and walked with him.

"which room is mine?" jared asked out loud.

each room had it's own door from the main room, 6 doors in all. they were all situated around the main hall, so finding out which was a closet and which was a bedroom would take time.

"lets just take the one by the kicthen." sarah said. jared opened the door and sarah walked in, and he followed. he shut the door.

"im horny." keith said.

katherin bashed him over the head with a magazine that was in her hand, and he rubbed his head, and then playfully pulled her down towards him. he then kissed her, and they both left for a room.

Luke looked over at me and laughed. "they are the weirdest couple ever." he said.

Laura laughed. "how does she put up with him?"

Luke took lillies hand and said "let take a walk?"

lilli nodded, and they went out the sliding glass doors, onto the beach and started walking in the sand.

me and laura sat on the couch, look out at the waves.

"are you happy?" i asked laura.

"with the house?" she asked me.

"yeah. and with us."

"i love them both."

i kissed her, and she kissed me back, pushing me down on the couch. i looked up at her, and stroked her hair.

she pulled off my wife beater, and kissed my bare stomach.

i heard the sliding glass door open, murmmurs and kissing and shuffles as lillie and luke went into their room.

i took laura's shirt off as we just lay there, looking out at the surf.

she then lay her hands on my chest.

laura started crying.

"what? what happened?" i asked.

I picked myself up, and as she wept, i put her shirt back on for her.

I held her against my chest and stroked her hair.

"i love you...its just that...im happy for us..." she whispered through the tears.

"theres no reason to cry." i said.

i felt her breath slowly as her chest was pulled tightly to mine.

suddenly the room grew dark as storm clouds quickly covered the sun outside. rain patted against the windows and ceiling, and it sofetend the tone of what was going on.

"i love it here." laura said.

she continued to weep in my arms.

The Beginning

I never said I was a good kid. I don't think I make right choices, and I think that makes me who I am.

The summer of 12th grade was what really pushed this thought deeper in my mind. I had cheated on my girlfriend, Laura, and I didn't feel guilty. I don't even know why I did it in the first place.

i really truly loved laura since i was 14. it wasnt a quick fuck kind of thing, it was one of those true, meaningful kind of relationships. i didn't think it would end with me fucking another girl and laura finding out, because i never thought of myself as that kind of person. i thought laura would be my only one until we went to college. that was totally wrong.

to begin, ill start off. a week after we left school for summer vacation, my friends and I, former 11th graders, decided before senior year, we were going to rent a beach house out in long beach, california. we had all worked our asses off that year to get the money for this big, comfortable house right on the shoreline. our parents made it clear that since we were al 18, and that if we we're going to gain any trust from them (really, they just meant 'pay for this and we'll give you whatever you need when you get older'), we would have to pay for this house ourselves. since it was a 5 week rental, and costed $3,000 a week, the money was somewhat hard to raise.

my friend keith worked at a burger joint for 12 weeks until they fired him for using the storage room as a place for katherine and him to screw.
jared and kept their job at Osaka, a japanese restraunt, until the end of the year. the pay was fucking awesome, and they really helped out with the house.
luke and lillie worked at mama's house of pizza, a guido pizzzeria that really just served cheese and grease on a plate.
some of the other girls coming with us (Polly and Sarah) worked at the local mall, milling around and helping who ever needed assistance.

my calling was with laura, at the "half hour photo". i worked where the locals called the 'fucking-never-get-my-photos-back' store, since the photo devolping machine rarely worked. most of the time me and laura stayed in the back room with each other and occasionly glanced at the video monitor to see if anyone was at the desk.

the day we were schedualed to fly to california from LaGuardia was a bust, because something happened where we couldn't take off for a long time, and in some odd occurance, they switched us to JFK instead, which costed us even more money.

All of us together added up to the following:
5 guys (me, jared, keith, luke, mike)
5 girls (katherine, lillie, polly, sarah, laura)

Then, polly got sick, leaving us with the following numbers:
5 guys (me, jared, keith, luke, mike)
4 girls (katherine, lillie, sarah, laura)

Polly still gave in the money because she felt bad for having to back out at the last minute, and her dad promised for senior year, a trip to europe with all of us would be on him. a definite plus for polly.

sitting in JFK, all of us kind of just sat there, looking at each other.

"what the hell are we going to do for 5 weeks?" sarah asked.

"ill be real fucking busy. ill fuck half the girls there by the time we're gone." keith remarked.

katherine hit him, and keith smirked.

technically, they were a couple. katherine and keith, on and off together, but a couple. jared and sarah had been going out since 10th grade, luke and lillie were a casual couple, but intimate. mike was single, but he had no worries. he didn't have any trouble getting a girl.

finally, our flight number was called.

and long beach was within our grasp.